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Writer's pictureMoya - Janelle

Poem and Reflection- Fireflies


Fireflies


My dreams haunt me, whether I wake or I sleep

They tease me mercilessly; taunt me with who I am & who I can be

I see her. I see them. I see me.

Ghosts all of them. Figments of my own imaginings

Midnight specters swift and soundly dimming

I thrust my amber beacon forth in hush illumine the jin

But a Neolithic fossil inside skews light to shine on wroth within

It’s an echo, a memory, a fleeting cursed word

Crashing through the reverie to obliterate my shadowed cryptic world

So Blaze young fireflies glow and glow

Shine brightly till death comes and meet her blow for blow

Eye for eye and tooth for tooth

Till the grinding mills decay and the strong men stoop

Do not run to fate, the lying plague he is

We know his dirty secrets. The truth is his abyss.

Destiny is destined for the destitute of wits

But we crave that deception; It gives reason to exist like this.

My dreams haunt me, whether I wake or I sleep

They tease me mercilessly; taunt me with who I am & who I can be

I see her. I see them. I see me.

Ghosts all of them. Figments of my own imaginings

Once bright lights swift and soundly dimming

I hunger for destruction succulent and sweet

Like a languid day in the highland mists eating sweet meat

Soul deep in dreams that haunt me

I am who I am, not who I can be.



Reflection: What does fireflies mean to me?


A journal entry that evolved into a poem, Fireflies delineates the perception of self as seen through the lens being of the other and the all. It is me seeing myself as my environment and learning of my deeper mind through every facet of my life. Viewing things this way has helped me to understand the importance of quieting my mind so as to not become overwhelmed by the appearance of "what is".


I believe that when one looks at the world, it is one's consciousness that is reflected back, not some objective external form. As such, through heart centered conscious perusal of that which is reflected back from one's purview of the world, a clear picture of the subconscious narrative that is guiding the external lived reality of the self as well as the infinite conceivable facets of self that are awaiting birth or actualization can be imbibed, studied, selected and externalized as chosen by the observer.- you, me, whoever.


I often hear that man is a spiritual being having a physical experience. What I think is often overlooked is that the physical is also intrinsically spiritual so all experience is spiritual. How so? Well, if we think of this concept as similar to the debate between dualism and monism it becomes clear. Descartes was of the opinion that we have a mind and we have a body and never the twain shall meet. I am of the opinion that they are different angles of the same image. one and the same. In the same way that a hologram is light, the body is the mind. . All is mind and substance is the externalization of thought. Welp, I suppose that makes me a monist.


As it relates to reality, the spirit of man, which indwells and predicates the mind of man, is essentially out-pictured or transitively reflected as the body of man, then further altered and cast forth as the lived experience or external environment. Therefore, the lesson here for me is that every person, place, thought, experience I have is me. Me looking at me. My interpretation of that what I see advises my actions, which lead to change(s) in my environment and concurrent change(s) within self- concurrent, because time is illusory.


This infinite feedback loop is oneness being perceived as separation . In ethereal terms this speaks to universal oneness but in less ephemeral gives a nod to the notion that each experience you have, every person you meet, every interaction you have with "other than self" changes the self and thus shapes and teaches you as you change it. Again, oneness.


If one is not careful, the feedback loop that is the engine behind the monist reality and self paradigm becomes completely reactionary and reductive rather than contemplative and expansive. I'm of the opinion that expansion is the Goal post of life so in order to expand rather that reduce, I turn within to consciously create without. From the safety of my awareness, the light within illumines all that can be externalized as my reality and it is through my own light that I continually realize there is no fate, not destiny, no her, no them, no me, just infinite possibility and ceaseless creation. For me, this is true freedom.


This is what fireflies means to me. I hope you enjoyed it.

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